Domestic Dispute Analyst Prints

'I'll tell you what mister - I'll lose ten pounds and stop nagging, the same day you act your age, cleanup after yourself, cook your own food and get a brain in that fat head.'

"So, I said, 'I'm thinking I'm tired of you asking me what I'm thinking' and heeeere we are."

"I really miss being in a committed relationship, Randy." "Which part do you miss most?" "Having someone disagree with you over what you're going to eat, or over what TV shows you're going to watch? Or do you miss having to account for how you spend your time? Or having to explain why you bought yourself something awesome without first getting permission?" "Mostly I miss the back rubs. They don't ask you to wash the dishes first at massage parlors."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

Always Compatible

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

A series of cameras go through a war zone.

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

Ebola Virus

Count Putin

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

The Boomerang Sanctions

Tension in middle east

'Well, if you insist on using logic I see little point in continuing this argument.'

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

"Did you say something? I thought I heard a sound bite."

'Shame on you! Stop torturing the poor Palestinians, you nazi-like, baby killing war monger!'

"Is there anything else I can do wrong for you?"

'I tried to get him to reinvent himself, but he said he couldn't get a patent.'

"Unconfirmed reports suggest that there may have been a breakdown in communication."

'Shall I fry it or flush it?'

"Have we got time for a quick argument before our programme starts..?"

Hollow Victory.

Improvised Economic Device

G7

"Addiction to fossil fuels is mutually assured destruction."

"My wife's a magician . . . she can turn anything into an argument."

Olive Branches and Soldiers

Going Shopping Together.

'You're in my light!'

Welcome to Mesopotamia: Birthplace of Civilization. Population (unable to read rest of sign as it's been blown off.)

The Israelis launch an air strike on Syria.

"Surely I'm allowed an opinion!"