Domestic Dispute Observer T-Shirts

"I wish you would clear the hair out of the plughole..."

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

What are we doing today? Installing raised beds. Then we'll plant them for a couple who want organic vegetables. Brilliant, Dad. Tree's Tree Nursery. You take the hard work out of gardening. Right. And give it to me! Right again!

'We're doing the right thing, Bob, Let Andy solve problems with bullies at school his own way,,,'

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

"So this is the Mr. Waring who has made such a great impression on my little girl."

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

Origins Of Evolution

"Mom, are you sure I'm not adopted?"

'Simple case of gravity, mom.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"If it slows down, just ask my father about the murder he always swears he did not commit."

Look,that is not your Daddy

"Nice try, Frank. Mother is still coming for the weekend."

'Tom's always been the black sheep of the family.'

"Hey. Smells funny. Fix it. And bring me a beer."

"Just wait until my autobiographical one-woman show."

"We should never have committed binary fission!"

"Happy anniversary, dear. How about a second honeymoon?" "Sure. Who with?"

His real name is Jasper Underwood Farthington III...but we just call him 'Stinky'.

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

"Your mom is a little overprotective, isn't she?"

'My principal wants to see you about my principles.'

'Will I be able to have a night light if we switch to solar power?'

"And what can I do for you, Sir?"

'Yes, yes, honey, I'm watching you!'

'I'm his best friend, until his wife walks in.'

"The gods aren't angry, Tara. They're just hurt and disappointed."

"Now mommy, I know there has been some bad blood between us."

"If I could choose any age I'd be forty-two again. You were hot when I was forty-two."

"Has your mother called yet on the international situation?"

"Son, this is going to hurt me more than it's going to hurt you."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'