Domestic Disaster Preventer Pillows

'...And how are you managing without me at home?'

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"Hello?"

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

'New normal' family life

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'Goodnight honey... did you remember to unplug the baby?'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"Which area of the house is the most dangerous? A. Your wet bathroom, B. Your dirty kitchen, or C. Your cluttered garage?"

"Knock! Knock! Who's there? What, seriously? You mean you haven't installed personal security cameras?"

'Check you house for termites, Lady?'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

"Did we turn off the stove?"

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

"We have so many security cameras, the doormat says 'Say cheese' instead of welcome."

Leaking washing machine.

Beware of Dogs

"Whoa! That's a lot of flame, Beth. I'll pick up a fire extinguisher on my way back from the gym."