Domestic Disaster Explorer Pillows

"Ok if I enter the disaster area, dear?"

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

'Hon, I'm home!'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"I finally cleaned my room. You don't think she'll look in the yard, do you?"

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Hang on, I know I came into the kitchen for something..."

"Hello?"

'How are you doing on your side?'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

"I get that you're cold, but does he also have to eat all our meals with us?"

"The clothes looked extra dirty... so I used the whole box of detergent!"

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Can I call you back? We're having our favorite argument."

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

Did you clean the loose snakes out of the shower drain? Medusa's husband.

"You'll do anything to get out of taking out the garbage."

Kingfisher feeding from a water lamp.

"It's all right dear, it only seems what it is."

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

'Dear, would it be all right if I was assertive for a minute?'

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

Stay at Home Yellowstone.

'I knew I shouldn't have brought you along. I haven't had a hit all day.'

"Lift your stems."

To her, the four basic food groups are canned, frozen, fast and delivered.

Cluster Catastrophe

"Don't worry, dear, we'll find your wedding ring."

Leaking washing machine.

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

When they said more people were choosing to holiday at home I think they meant in the UK