Domestic Dialogue Lover Pillows

'Have you seen the floor cloth anywhere?' - 'What colour is it?' - 'Green.' - 'No, I definitely haven't seen a green floor cloth.' - 'All I have is this turqoise dish cloth that I found under the fridge.'

"You're fired."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Scarcity

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

What's normal?

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

The economy.

Dialogue

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'Good evening! The debate over animal experiments continues...'

Our Two Parties, Explained

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"Hey, I'm just playing devil's avocado!"

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

We need a Europe of U-turns.

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

Roe v. Wade

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Unanimous voting.

Exciting potato bugs.

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

Armageddon

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Edmund Burke's 'Reflections on the Revolution in France' haunts Dr Richard Price

Arthur Schopenhauer