Domestic Dialogue Appreciator Gifts

You're a smart guy, Tom...and you're telling me you can't change the lightbulb in the laundry room?

Iran bars two UN nuclear inspectors for 'untruthful reporting'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"Sorry? I wasn't listening."

Oscars 2024

"No, I don't believe youth is wasted on the young. I believe money is."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

"You do something about Human Rights and trade or...or....or..."

"Well, geez, you don't need to bite my hea.."

I've been scouting new locations for the strip. Great. We can certainly use some. Have you found anything exciting so far? Yes. A bench on the other side of the park. It has a trash can in the background.

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

Enthralled by the appealing throw pillows, Barry never saw the fighting pillow coming.

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

"You're not gonna be around much longer, pal, so do you mind if I eat your nose when you're done with it?"

"He's the domesticated kind of werewolf."

A man opens his curtains to wake up his cats.

"It's gonna be hard but no more shaking and fetching for a few weeks."

A Misdelivered Letter

"My wife's a magician . . . she can turn anything into an argument."

Secret Family Recipe for Disaster.

'He makes his own gin too.'

"Are those the DNA results?" "Yep." "And?" "You're a dog."

"What's the matter, forgot where you parked your butt?"

"My husband is so into beer, he's sweating oat stout."

Hot chocolate. Huh? What? Uh, sure. What's the matter? Are you sad? You look sad. No, no. I'm fine. Hot chocolate coming up. Oh, okay. I'm definitely not sad. How come adults won't say when they're sad? I am the opposite of sad.

Nancy Pelosi Gets a Speakership By Agreeing to Just Four More Years. How Many Years Does She Have Anyway?

"I'm staying in my nightie until 1997."

Look at you. The vacant stare

When your boat comes in don't expect ME to unload it!'

'Just how long does your mother plan on staying with us?'

You don't find it strange I'm writing scathing Yelp reviews about this caf

'Maybe we can work out an arrangement if you promise to take me to Disneyland.'

Beef Encounter.

'Have you seen the floor cloth anywhere?' - 'What colour is it?' - 'Green.' - 'No, I definitely haven't seen a green floor cloth.' - 'All I have is this turqoise dish cloth that I found under the fridge.'