Domestic Chore Navigator Pillows

"How do you work one of these?"

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

"It's funny how that works. It doesn't matter where I am in the house... I can always tell when the novel isn't going well."

"Did he sleep through the night again?"

"Just empty it."

"Oh, gosh. . . he's sleep caulking again."

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Housekeeping - No. III

"That goes to the dry cleaners."

'I did my part of house cleaning, now it's your time...it's shovel ready'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Who's the clown responsible for ordering the new exercise equipment?'

Nate Sure Abhors a Vacuum!

'As the CEO of a large corporation, I don't suppose you'd consider taking out the garbage?'

"I knew it would be a silly idea to ask him to hang the washing out for me,"

'Mom, how old was I when Dad first hired you to do all this stuff around the house?'

'When he said he wanted to put me on a pedestal, it was only so I could dust the ceiling fan!'

'Why do you never change these things out when they're empty? They're not an infinite scroll.'

'Yes it's a conspiracy theory, he's never ever done the washing up.'

Home Schooling: "And this is what we call the 'washing machine'."

'He has weapons of mass destruction.'

"Does he like those shorts you bought him for Christmas?"

Feel free to have a wash but this time please do not leave the bath smelling of ham.

'I'll see your 'Washing the Dishes' and raise you 'Two Loads of Laundry''

'I TOLD you not to wash it in warm water!'

'What's your washing dishes got to do with human rights?'

'Washing dishes, why?'

"Laundry day?"

"Oh, no, I forgot to shred the toilet paper!"

'That Riding Vacuum has given our marriage a spark I didn't think was possible.'

Presents.