Domestic Ceo Pillows

'Mum, when you've finished your full-time job, cleaned the house, sorted the laundry, made the meals and walked the dog could you sort out these bills for me?'

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

'Of course I know how to run a household. Just tell me where you keep the purchase orders.'

'Because you told me to run the house like a business.'

'The Smythe Residence: Mrs. Smythe presiding.'

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

"I know what this is, it's what mum and dad call 'working from home'...

Balancing work and family

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

Acclaimed mother.

'Your CV says in your last job you were responsible for...'

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

Parenting Business Deals

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

'Remember Jones, your organs are worth more to us than your intellectual property.'

'My mom is really important in our house. She's the cook, housekeeper, nanny, lanundress and the boss.'

"I'm afraid your allowance didn't survive the latest round of budget cuts."

"I'm sorry, you must have me confused with someone that does yard work."

'That's my mom... she's sort of a CEO, an action committee, and a janitor all rolled up into one.'

"I want you both to know that I'm unhappy about the way things are run around here, and there are going to be some changes made..."

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

One young wife asking another if she finds it more economical to do her own cooking.

Husband dismayed to get cold mutton for dinner again. Wife comments that someone must be economical on the housekeeping money she is given.

Man ironing out a line graph.

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

Super express lane for working mothers only!

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"I managed a house with four kids, three dogs, and twelve plants. How's that for management experience?"