Domestic Bliss Seeker Pillows

Husband wondering why his watch doesn't work

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"Can you help me? My wife said to buy dryer sheets, but they all look dry to me."

'When I'm talking, I wish you wouldn't interrupt by talking to yourself!'

"Ah the sound of the first lawn mower"

'When we win the lottery, we'll get someone to do that.'

"Is there something wrong with the TV focus?"

"That's a peaceful transfer of power."

"His first out-of-body experience."

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'There you go again...constantly snagging!'

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"I said 'follow,' not stalk your bliss!"

Through the Looking Glass - Alice Rows the Sheep.

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"I know it's 3 a.m. but don't you think this is a good time to discuss spending the holidays with my mother."

"Despite my best efforts, you're still the man and I'm still the woman."

The black cat sat on the mat...absorbing all the heat of the fire.

Looks like I do dishes again.

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

Insomnia.

"Doc, she and I just don't understand each other any more...it's like we have different operating systems!"

'You're always taking the fun out of everything!'

Welcome to Kew Gardens

Blanket Pull

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

Theirs and Theirs

"I said, I had the cat declawed."

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Plumbing Co - we repair what your husband fixed.

"Just empty it."

'That's it? The facts of life? Mom washes the dishes and you dry them?'