Domestic Battlesculptor Gifts

"You'll have to wait, can't you see he's tied up for the moment?"

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Remorse sits in my stomach like a piece of stale bread. How does that sound?"

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

Lumberjack Finds Strange Tree Rings

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'Here's how it works, Freddie. Men never do figure out what women want, so eventually we all sign up for woodworking.'

Bookmore Publishing Co. Autobiography Editor - Embellish and De-Embellish.

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"But you told me you were on gardening leave, so why can't you come and help me in the garden?"

Man of steel wool.

"Sloth is a sin."

"Garbage in, great books out."

Behind the cow is a manure castle. 'Yeah...It's a gift.'

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

"OK, honey, if I make this one, we blow off Delia's recital."

Husband does the housework

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

BIBLE STORIES, 'This is full of battle and other BOY stuff - not a single romantic comedy!'

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"Synchronized sitting"

Human Dust Buster

"If he'd done that to me, I'd have got up and given him a good thump!"

Roman paramedic.

"I read your manuscript with interest."

'Why are they all picking on me?'

'Show off!'

'It's questionable whether your book, Life of a Nobody' will make a Nobody a Somebody!'

"Very few new ideas come into Arthur's head anymore. He's living on his fat."

"And as we study this list, one thing is clear... my wife is doing groceries with my sales report."