Domestic Aficionado Gifts

Dear Diary. . .bored with nothing to do, be glad when Doris gets home from work!

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Were we expecting a baby?"

Board Game Hunter

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"What's all this?"

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

Doulton Canada Geese

Robotic Flower Arranging

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

Antique silver

True, I've seen plenty of padded resumes, but very few bejeweled resumes.

Mistress Talking to Maid

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

"He's lazy and not very handy around the house. But I'm a cartoonist, and he provides me with a ton of material."

'It's a surprise present for my husband - He's expecting golf clubs!'

Spot Light

"He's the domesticated kind of werewolf."

Couple with sign on wall: 'A Messy Marriage is the Sign of Genius'

"And you think the world revolves around you..."

"I admire your devotion to duty."

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

Recycling husband.

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Mom! Of course I know it's spring outside! Look at all the allergy commericals!

Larva lamp.

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

Worried flamingo says to other famingo: ''Ere, Dave, are we kitsch?'

'Oh, isn't he clever? He's brought you your slippers.'

"For twenty years I told you that you have cold hands and what can I say... Today I just snapped."

Lazy eye at home