Domestic Aficionado Gifts

Dear Diary. . .bored with nothing to do, be glad when Doris gets home from work!

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"What's all this?"

'You know that bottle of ink that was standing on the desk...?'

This is the first time I've been on the top management floor.

Doulton Canada Geese

Robotic Flower Arranging

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

Mistress Talking to Maid

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

Antique silver

'It's almost as if you haven't heard a single word I've thought.'

Couple with sign on wall: 'A Messy Marriage is the Sign of Genius'

"He's the domesticated kind of werewolf."

"And you think the world revolves around you..."

"He's lazy and not very handy around the house. But I'm a cartoonist, and he provides me with a ton of material."

"I admire your devotion to duty."

'It's a surprise present for my husband - He's expecting golf clubs!'

"The Hewletts have flaming crown roast au vin blanc every Wednesday."

Spot Light

Recycling husband.

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

Larva lamp.

'Days until miminimalism is over and we can get our things out of storage...'

Mom! Of course I know it's spring outside! Look at all the allergy commericals!

Worried flamingo says to other famingo: ''Ere, Dave, are we kitsch?'

'Oh, isn't he clever? He's brought you your slippers.'

"It wasn't until after fifty years of marriage that Mike finally learned the importance of putting the seat down." "Happy anniversary. Now flush."

'Knock that back please, I'm cleaning the crystal.'

"It just started as a list of his faults, and just evolved into a horror novel."