Domestic Action Scenes Gifts

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Because when you go first nobody else has any fun, that's why."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"It wasn't a farming accident. She just bit my head off again."

'Yes, folks, the victim was a bolt. Now, I'm afraid, he's a deadbolt.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

Serenade for you...

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

"Great - really great - but I'd still like to get out of the house every once in a while."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'Almost done.'

Mistress Talking to Maid

"Please don't go!"

Fitted Sheet:1/Human:0

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

A monument gets down from his plinth.

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

"I'm getting real sick of picking up your laundry, Adam."

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

"My husband and I have decided to share each other's interests. He's at home burning the dinner."

"I investigated your husband, Mrs Adams. He isn't cheating on you. In fact, I'm your husband. We've just really lost touch recently."

Joke Shop.

"E.T. phone home... Now!"

'In another universe parallel to our own.'

'Hello Darling, I am on the bed with the window cleaner.'

'Hey! Those things aren't toys, you know.'

"So is that enough 'putting out' for you?"

"I can smell his fear of commitment."

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'