Dogmatic Humorist Pillows

"We'd like to share a message about Dog."

"And just like that, e got rid of Florida."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Ethics exam cheater.

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

They're Not Just That Into It

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Intelligent people laugh too!

No-Work Orange

"Gee, thanks pal."

Trump! The Musical

Scarcity

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

Archimedes statue with a lever

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

I've Always Wanted to Be Oppressed By Someone Who Looks Like Me

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

Non-Creative Writing, Also Known as Plagiarism 101.

Optimist

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

'He doesn't like people walking in - try crawling.'

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

'I don't think the employees like me.'

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"So, like, don't make any big plans for this weekend."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"