Dogma Dismisser Pillows

Prison clergyman escapes, tossing away his collar.

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Statue of Liberty

Rumours Online

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

"Look, Earl. . . It's a young person Republican! They do exist!"

This Virtual Campaign Is Even Less Exciting Than the Usual Virtual Campaign

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'Thank you but I'm a bit sensitive to ethnic food.'

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

"I hope it misses us!"

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

'Mayonnaise is immoral.'

If Animals Were Racist...

"The candidates this year are really honest."

"And that was the news. . . But please feel free to go online and vent your spite, spread your conspiracy theories and promote your ill-informed opinions. . ."

Religion, This End Up

Trump Campaign Funding

Republican campaign tosses out the truth.

'When we agreed to peace talks - I was thinking of something a little more . . . I don't know congenial.'

'They're having a ball up there.'

Wimp and Wimpier: The Democratic Field for 2020

"Hold on there buddy, that's not a KJV Bible." (two men talking, one with a Bible)

Non-Controversial Textbooks: "In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

"Uh, well, I can't pay today, but my Surety, Joe Q. Public's Great-Great-Great Grandson will stand good for me..."

"What to wear today?"

Anti-Vaxxers

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

"Weather rebuttal."