Doglover Gifts

'Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

A Good Batch.

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"He's got no clue how easy he has it compared to his ancestors."

"I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal, I will not lick the principal."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Pick me!"

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"How long will we, the descendants of wolves, be content with table scraps and belly rubs?"

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

Squirrel Chasing a Dog

"Quick, start the car!"

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

Dog looks perplexed as man has his head out the window taking in the beer smells.

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

'Shhhh. Fido inherited seventy percent of this company.'

Romance

Brian was very proud of his dog.

A sheep dog has stacked the sheep four high - 'He used to be with the circus before he came to the farm...!'

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."