Dogless Wonder Pillows

"As a pet, it's a bit of a disappointment..."

'I'm telling you Fred, this can of silver paint is going to improve your love-life!...'

Sherlock Holmes Museum: No Hounds.

"Some trees in New Hampshire hate being hugged."

'Look man, no wings!'

Do you think I'm sixty?

Injured backpacker.

Man leaving 'Wall St, closed-end mutual funds' building with hand full of money.

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

'My wife and I can't have dogs!'

'I'm not scaring the fish - I'm WARNING the fish!'

'Typical, I hadn't finished complaining about the rain...'

"Mum, look! It's a Showyourbottom duck!"

"Something light and fluffy."

'Nobody understands you. . . do you blame them?'

The Hummingbird

Bagging the Chipmunk

"The dollar is falling!"

"Shake it and climate change occurs."

"Old Jack Frost nipping at your nose, eh?"

'....How many babies are you going to have, mommy?"

'It's your own fault - you act like an absolute fool whenever he lets you off it.'

'Maybe you should stay away from dental humour.'

"I just think we should eat a lot more ice cream for dessert to battle global warming."

Lollies

Zoology. Cheetahs can reach speeds up to sixty miles an hour! Amazing, and yet they never win!

'The batteries must be dead.'

'Listen Buddy! After the hot flushes I've been having this is like a resort!'

'If you've got a problem with the way I run things around here, take it up with my nanny.'

"What do you suggest for someone who has been everywhere?"

'Bill's overweight on Krispy Kreme, plus he owns the stock.'

'Was it the non-flying dream again?'

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

"Suncreen's for the birds right, Oscar?!"

'You had to get shots? I couldn't stand that. I hate needles!'