Doggy Dialogue Fan Pillows

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

'Don't keep going on about your cold paws - I've got my own problem!'

"If this tree is so great, why doesn't he pee on it."

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Conversation between Dogs.

"It was the most relaxing massage I've ever had."

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

"I wish you'd stop obsessively checking your feed!"

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'Don't forget to talk about their dog!'

"You mean, with that yakerpoop app, you can have a service stop by and puck up your bag of crap?"

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"You know that tune you sang yesterday morning? It was stuck in my head the whole day long..."

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

'First you come down, then we talk.'

"No, it's not my birthday, either."

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

"Can we cut across the park and avoid Colony Lane? There are three squirrels in an oak tree I’d like to avoid."

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

"Are those the DNA results?" "Yep." "And?" "You're a dog."

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

'You sound like a bunch of cats! The growl has to be deeper and the barks crisper. Okay, let's take it again from the first howl.'

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

'Oh, it's not that I don't like humans, it's just my allergies.'

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

"Actually he's not begging."

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."