Doggie Breath Detective Gifts

'How to lick doggie breath.'

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

Fido and Fifi

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"