Dog Treat Giver Gifts

'What can I tell you? They gave us treats - at inappropriate times.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

celebrating a birth.

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

Dog Love.

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'They give you a lot of treats while they're training you, so play dumb for as long as you can.'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'I know you've worked hard on it, dear, but maybe we should get the Rabbi a . . . uh. . . 'back up' birthday present too?'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'

Santa's Out Tray.

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

Homemade dog biscuits.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to the less fortunate...

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

'They call them gifts, but they make you pay for them.'

Seasonal shopping.