Dog Talk Show Fan Gifts

'I always bark for no reason whatever.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

Agility God

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

"She's a show dog...purebred, of course." "That's great! My guy's a Sanskrit scholar...wrote for the Harvard Lampoon."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

Talking Dog.

"Another slander suit!"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

Balloon dog training

"Fuhgettaboutit, Charley. Ya been fixed."

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

'Dog Show' 'Worst breath winner'

Dog Show. He was this close to winning a ribbon until they subtracted points for his breath.

A dog lights a cigarette, blows 3 smoke rings, then jumps through them, as if through hoops.

"Get a life."

"I understand you've learned some new tricks since you were here last."

"Once again Runchy leads Sandford to the triple bar jump."

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

'It's an emergency! The sitter wants to know where Marmaduke's doggie treats are!'

"I started out eating homework. Now I shred documents."

'I must admit that I've come a long way since I first heard the word speak!...'

'I suggest you reconsider your approach to responsible dog breeding.'

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

A rabbit is followed out of a Magician's hat by a greyhound.

Dog Show: Most human look.

'The ban of stimulants, includes St Bernards. The brandy keg will have to go.'

'Sorry Binky, but there is no category for talking dogs.'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

'Woof, woof, woof - but I'm paraphrasing.'

Too late they realized they'd awarded 1st place to a mop.

"I'm no show dog - I have Alopecia!"

"And have various, random strangers scratch behind your ears four times daily."

"Can you play something the neighbor's dog doesn't know?"