Dog Snack Connoisseur T-Shirts

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

Tartine

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

'My body has rejected every diet I've tried.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Rage.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'Oh, really?... I'm actually more of a dog person.'

"I just want you to know that promotion, this office, and those Luna bars were mine!"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Love is when you watch television together.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Canine obidience class: 'He wouldn't budge from the armchair.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

"Trail mix?"

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Lioness Shops for Snacks.

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'You'll enjoy our staff meetings. We always begin and end with the product.'

How The Sausage Is Eaten

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"Note the spike here, when the state legalized marijuana."

'At least he isn't into drugs.'

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

Medical Marijuana Dispensary / Medical Cheez Doodles Dispensary

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"