Dog Poo Collector Gifts

"My dog? Nope, just a hobby of mine."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'They sure have small litters.'

'Let's skip Mr. Arnold's house. He's the dog catcher.'

"What kind of 'best friend' expects you to pick up their sh*t?"

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

Utility Chic.

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

This is not what I had in mind when I joined the Council!

'See? I told you that it was a bad idea to pitch our tent at Camp Giant Eagle! Say . . .isn't that MY pillow?'

'One day son, all this will be collected.'

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

Gardener pulling a tree through a dog park with a dog marking his territory.

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

You are the 1 I settled 3

The evolution of a woman's purse.

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

"She's a weiner cat."

"You remind me of someone."

'Watch their pounds' Venn Diagram

'I don't know where the television remote is, you had it last.'

'Stop bringing it back! I want to start breaking in a new ball!'

How Sheep Sleep

'Jack's wife left him for the dustman.'

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.