Dog Playtime Strategist T-Shirts

If dogs could talk

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

Doggy Bites

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

"Why don't you go turn on your toys and watch them play."

'The only imaginable solution to this problem is a battle to the death.'

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

Swings and Roundabouts: 'I can't make up my mind.'

Mr. Blok's nap is his daughter's opportunity.

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

"I borrowed it from my neighbor, he's a big tennis guy."

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

Walking the dog

"I'm going to demonstrate how dogs are stealth ninjas in the dark. See how I move silently....."

'OK, you can play ball with me, but don't chew on it! Your brother's ruined five of my balls already...'

"That new kid is taking hide-and-seek seriously...he's brought in bloodhounds!"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'I think Bruno has discovered bitches.'

"Bad dog!"

"Trust me, you would make a great soccer player if only you could control your urge to bite the ball..."

"They keep asking me, 'Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?' How should I know?"

A Loyal Dog's Escape From The Parking Meter.