Dog Playtime Strategist T-Shirts

If dogs could talk

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

'Sit, Rollover, Heel'

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

Sure, I'll sit, but I want half the treat upfront.

'...and notice how they like playing with string.'

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Doggy Bites

"I'm expected for dinner around seven. Other than that I'm completely free."

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

'If you want to get anywhere with girls, you gotta PRETEND to like bunnies, ponies, and kittens.'

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

"Why don't you go turn on your toys and watch them play."

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

'The only imaginable solution to this problem is a battle to the death.'

Swings and Roundabouts: 'I can't make up my mind.'

"I borrowed it from my neighbor, he's a big tennis guy."

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

Mr. Blok's nap is his daughter's opportunity.

'First you fetch their slippers and then you chew them up -- it's called the 'good dog-bad dog' system.'

Walking the dog

'OK, you can play ball with me, but don't chew on it! Your brother's ruined five of my balls already...'

"I'm going to demonstrate how dogs are stealth ninjas in the dark. See how I move silently....."

"That new kid is taking hide-and-seek seriously...he's brought in bloodhounds!"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"Bad dog!"

'I think Bruno has discovered bitches.'

'This time it's really just a stick!'

"They keep asking me, 'Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?' How should I know?"