Pup Playtime Coordinator T-Shirts

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

'Max and I have a give and take relationship. He sniffs my butt...and I let him.'

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Houston, we have a problem!"

"If you don't make up your mind who's taking me out, I'll do it right here."

'I want a dog who will fetch my things, so don't sell me one that drools.'

Doggy Bites

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Four Star Meal

Dog Park. Ernie, let me help you navigate the dog park safely. Thanks. Never ask the dalmatian if you can play "Connect the Dots." Don't discuss international politics with the Siberian Husky, or make jokes around the Greyhound. The Saint Bernard does not find it funny if you ask for his blessing. And most importantly, unless you schedule is clear for a week ... yeah? Don't say "yes" when the Lab asks you to play with that ball with him!

'Wow, forts really do come with cavalry!'

Jasper wasn't used to dealing with snowstorms before winter, let alone before Halloween...

"There's nothing like dog-walking for making new friends...."

"Why don't you go turn on your toys and watch them play."

'The only imaginable solution to this problem is a battle to the death.'

'Instead of teaching me useless tricks like rolling over and fetching, how about teaching me to ride that motorcycle of yours?'

Clockwork Toys.

Swings and Roundabouts: 'I can't make up my mind.'

"When it comes to hide and seek I think this might be cheating."

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

Mr. Blok's nap is his daughter's opportunity.

"Once I finish obedience school, I plan to stray around Europe for a year."

"Yes, he’s very excited to meet your Fifi."

"Okay, the first rule of rolling in s***e club is no one talks about rolling in s***e club."

"I borrowed it from my neighbor, he's a big tennis guy."

"That new kid is taking hide-and-seek seriously...he's brought in bloodhounds!"

Nethead strip: Visit to the doctors

'Momma, we elected you as honorable member of our club. You're in charge of eats and drinks.'

'Let's play business. I'll be the Chairman of the Board and you'll work for me and laugh whenever I tell a joke.'

'We were playing mothers and fathers and I forgot our wedding anniversary.'

"Bad dog!"