Dog Owner Dilemmas Pillows

'That's $10.00 for Ben's physical, $7.50 for the rabies shot, $22.50 for the pants, $14.95 for the shirt...'

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"Why do dogs wag their tails? Because it always brings results."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'I'm not sure which one is the role model.'

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

A man and his dog

Cling-On Dog

"Don’t worry, this guy is totally cool. Just don’t mention the Red Baron."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

"He's got no idea how to run a Husky team."

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

Owner Looks Like Poodle.

Epic Battles

"The video of you eating my $700 John Varvatos got 300 'likes.'"

"Sorry, bud. You know the rules... Dibs is dibs."

Dogma

"If he tries to dip, Mrs. Callister, you mustn't hesitate to use the choke chain."

Whatís that, boy? Youíre too tired for a walk and you just want to watch TV?

"Maybe next time you won't drink so much lake water."

Dogs all across town saw fit to teach their owners a little empathy...

'The word bath is mentioned.'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

'You'll be getting $5,000 worth of doggy treats this week. If your owner sees the charge on his credit card, you don't know me.'

'Try the steak tartare...it's okay.'

"You go ahead and sleep, girl. I’m sure Philip Roth won’t be offended."

'Ah, business as usual.'

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

"Helen, Don, you're probably wondering why I called you here today. I'm afraid the answer is achingly simple: I can't get down."

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"He's bought himself a red sport car, so I can't ride with him anymore: somehow, he says an old dog would be cramping his style..."