Dog Owner Camaraderie Pillows

"How are we gonna spin this?"

Playing Fetch.

Welcome to the Team

"Bad dog."

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

People who let their big dogs run around leash free and then say things like. . .

"You can stop pulling, you knucklehead—I took your leash off ten minutes ago."

'Not here - home!'

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Chasebook

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Shaggy dog/Shaggy Owner.

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Watchdog on Holiday

'No, first start the engine, then bark!'

"I don't get it! They're both diurnal, so why on earth would they bring back from the hospital a baby that's awake all night?"

'Like you, I don't know why they feed us every day, but as long as they do it, I'll stay...'

"Beer? I see you taught Roscoe to fetch?"

Hombre's Best Friend.

"Gesundheit!"

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

'He's never going to graduate. How about giving him an honorary degree instead?'

"We need to channel his energy into something positive."

"What kind of tomorrow is it? — I don't know, when I wake up, it's already today."

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"You should run for president."

When Dogs Rule

"I'm going to level with you. I find you to be disturbingly insane."

Dog wiping windscreen with tail

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."