Dog-less Coupon Clippers Pillows

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

Cut Price

'It's okay - he knows how to use the GPS.'

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Unusual Offers

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

"It was so noisy in there - all those pages turning."

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

A Valentine's Day IOU Coupon

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'This cola only has half the calories, so if I only drink half that would be no calories!'

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

Sale today - 50% off everything!

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

Time-Off Coupons

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'It's okay -- I had a coupon.'

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'