Coupon Lover Pillows

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

Cut Price

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

Unusual Offers

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

Yes, dear, I remembered the coupons and saved a few dollars. The Adventures of Marriedman.

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

How much would you take off for cash?

'...And it comes with valuable coupons toward your next purchase.'

'How do I qualify for the 'Preferred Customer Discount' you're advertising?' 'Do you have a pulse?'

"Could you hold off clipping your coupons until I've finished reading the paper?"

"How much is the sign?"

"Do you have a dollar menu?"

'They've got a great deal here. When you buy one meal, I get mine half price!'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'Darn, all these coupons are expired. We could have saved 50 cents on 9 cans of dog food.' 'We don't have a dog.'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'That's not in addition to your pension, that IS your pension.'

What You Came In For In The First Place And Forgot Aisle.

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"So with 50% sale discount, plus the 30% early bird reduction, a 10% bonus for paying in full and a $100 cash back... we owe you $1.75"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

Time-Off Coupons

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"Dog food coupons! Dog food coupons!"

'See, money can buy happiness and I have a dollar off coupon, too!'

'It was an impulse buy Mary. At 75 percent off in the New Year sale AND free home delivery. . .'

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

Farmers Telemarket. That's right. Beans for just $.10 a carton. Ma'am, would you like a month's worth of corn absolutely free? We'll even switch your onions for you!

'You've been on eBay again haven't you?'