Coupon Fanatic Pillows

'Welcome! Do you have any coupons or discount codes?'

"Oh great! It's the Coupocalypse."

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'Dave will only turn the heating on when he thinks it's absolutely necessary.'

'My wife says not to worry. She's convinced she can get me out of here with coupons.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: After a Fashion

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'That's not the northern lights! It's new strip mall!'

'You must know my kids...they spend like there's no tomorrow.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

'You realize, of course, there's nothing wrong with me. . . I'm only here 'cause of your 50%-off-first-visit coupon and I am not a serial bargain shopaholic.'

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'We must be nearing land. It's a discount coupon from the island's mall.'

"It's cheaper to buy soap in chunks instead of bars. Just chip off what you need."

"Armstrong, you're the cheapest cheapskate on earth." "Not yet, but a man can dream." "This toothache is killing me but I have no money and no insurance. Do you know where I can find a really cheap dentist?" "Of course. I can give you my guy's name. He works for peanuts." "I’ll get a pen." "You’ll also need a passport and lots of penicillin."

'Right now I'd say our biggest asset is our credit card debt.'

"Hello Bob, I haven't seen you since you had a water meter fitted!"

'I never dreamed we were responsible for the coupon manufacturer paying the grocer.'

"Yes, two-for-one's a great deal, but we don't need any freshly cut Christmas trees in June!"

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

Lemonade, 50? ? After 25? mail-in rebate.

'New! A bonus island of flavor!'

'You are always living in the past!' 'It's a lot cheaper!'

"Now that's what I call a great financial advisor!"

Rockets in Bath.

Money.

''You're in luck. Happy hour prices.''

"I'm thinking of becoming a personal shopper." "What's that?" "It's where you buy things for people who are too busy to go shopping themselves." "I mean, I love to shop. I love it more than almost anything." "They say if you love your work, you never 'work' a day in your life." "To each his own, I guess." "I love everything about shopping. From the seductive 'OPEN' sign, to the supple checkout lines."

"This company wants to make money, NOT spend money. Turning on the lights would go against our goal."

'Still 10 minutes to go before my cheap call rate kicks in...!'

"Main floor, aisle six, ladies' scarves. Shopper down."

'I'm sorry, Rudolph, you reindeers are too expensive. This year, I'll work with subcontractors.'