Dog Food Taster Gifts

John envied his friends who worked at the local chocolate company

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

The prophet who changed water into diet grapefruit soda.

'Or we could just ask her what kind of dog it is.'

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

Pet Entertainers

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Complementary Beverages

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

"Can I have a doggie bag to go?"

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

The race against gravity with an ice cream!

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

Eating raw cake mix.

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

'O.K. Everyone...Tea break!'

"He won't wait for me to open the can."

Bees

'I pity the poor schlub whose job it is to make that call.'

'I'm removing you from the research department, Jones!'

"It's new. It's Perrier flavored vodka."

"I'm always tempted by the more esoteric flavors- if only out of pity."

'Does this taste like it might have accidentally gotten some rat poison in it?'

"Enough yin. More yang."

'So you want two opposable thumbs so you can open your own dogfood?'

Ice Cream Cone Ladder

"We'll be needing a high chair for spot."

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!

'Believe me, I've checked. There are no shows on the Food Channel devoted to cooking kibble.'

"I told you before! I need a food taster who likes brussel sprouts!"

Coonhound Inc. Petfoods Research & Development