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A stronger drink

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Shake! Good Dog."

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'Joe has been partying hard!'

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

Balloon dog training

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Get a life."

"I rescued him from a tree four years ago — still remembers me."

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"You say: It's nothing more than jealousy inspired backstabbing. I say: It's the fourth report of butt-sniffing I've had this week."

Beauty shop

Should We All Go To The Movies?