Dog Drinker Gifts

A stronger drink

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

"Shake! Good Dog."

7 Dwarves of Retirement

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

After chasing the rabbit for many hours, Buster found himself very far from home indeed.

'Joe has been partying hard!'

"She's a dachshund-lemming mix."

'To you it's wine, to me, it's my writer's block vaccine.'

'The guy at the end of the bar, would like to know if he can get you to buy him another drink?'

'All I said was 'belly up to the bar'.'

Balloon dog training

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Cuthbert was a pit of a party animal

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

"It's always so loud during yappy hour."

"Really? Not much of a challenge here."

Dog orders the food 9 out of 10 dogs prefer.

"The party was a total surprise! Everybody jumped out and screamed 'Happy Birthday' just as I was licking my balls!"

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

"It must be a youth culture!" (Lager, boobs, lager, babes,footie, girls,lager.)

'Forget about marriage conselling: Me, I sent Max to Obedience School instead...'

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I think I know where you're going with this: Yes, he was talking about happy hour.

"I rescued him from a tree four years ago — still remembers me."

"Get a life."

'That's the problem with Dacshunds, you can never tell whether they're coming or going.'

"You hit the ball- that's ping. Your opponent hits the ball- that's pong!"

Beauty shop

The bad news is, Fluffy ate the squeaker out of her toy. The good news is, it's going to sound hilarious coming out.

Should We All Go To The Movies?