Dog Detective Fan Gifts

'Gentlemen, I have evidence that one of us is a spy.'

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Dog Nightmares

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"What's all this?"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"He did it!"

'Where my balls go?'

Fido and Fifi

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

A spy

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."