Doggy Detective Fan Gifts

A dog in a balaclava waits outside a bank

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

Dog Nightmares

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'So who needs sonar?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"What's all this?"

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

Fido and Fifi

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

"That's why I don't use those dog carriers."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

CSI Wonderland. (Photographer takes a picture of a cracked Humpty Dumpty. Investigators collect evidence from the scene.)

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

"I take it you want to go for a perp walk."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"Any clues?"

A detective and a dog are tracing footsteps and dog prints.

Wanted dog! reward!

He Did It!

"We have ways of making you talk."

"Should I tell her I'm a PTSD support dog specializing in disease and illegal drug scent detection?" "Should I tell him his ear's inside out?"