Dog Debunkers Pillows

"Take off your mailman's uniform before you return home. We have a new dog."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

Rumours Online

'Sure, but think what a crook I'd be without hypocrisy!'

Statue of Liberty

"Look, Earl. . . It's a young person Republican! They do exist!"

Chicken standing on a platform on a stage with three horns in front of it and wearing a top hat; a sign on the side of the platform reads "National Endowment for the Arts - Seal of Approval."

'Thank you but I'm a bit sensitive to ethnic food.'

A dog reads a newspaper

"The candidates this year are really honest."

Fiscal Cliff Dwellers.

'Mayonnaise is immoral.'

"I hope it misses us!"

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

If Animals Were Racist...

'They're having a ball up there.'

Republican campaign tosses out the truth.

"What to wear today?"

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

'When we agreed to peace talks - I was thinking of something a little more . . . I don't know congenial.'

"Uh, well, I can't pay today, but my Surety, Joe Q. Public's Great-Great-Great Grandson will stand good for me..."

"Your compulsive talk about crazy diets, get rich schemes, and mail order drugs -- your pacemaker's been hacked and you're spamming."

Non-Controversial Textbooks: "In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

Trump Campaign Funding

Weight Loss Clinic: 100% guaranteed.

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.

Homework eating dogs

'I know I should be thankful I have a good home, but if he talks baby talk to me one more time, I swear I'll go for his throat.'

If Kitschy Film Dialogues Were Really Realistic. . .

'It's not that I don't like dogs, I'm just more of a cat person,'

'When did you teach him to play dead?'