Dog Days Philosopher Gifts

"I don't know how I get through the day - every day, day after day - on instinct alone."

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

"I throw this ball, you go get it and bring it back — everything else will fall into place."

"Yes, one is a dog."

Cat Reunion

"Ever feel like even when you're barking at something you're still barking at nothing?"

Canine Scentipede

"The library rejected your request to ban all books on cats and squirrels. But, to be fair, it was no dumber than all the other book ban requests we get."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

In life there are things we cannot understand � the words 'get down,' invisible fences, cats...

'A bone is a bone is a bone...'

Menu: Wet food. Dry food

"The universe must love dogs - otherwise, why would sticks just fall from the sky?"

"May you love like you've never been hurt, dance like no one is watching, and chase squirrels at the speed of light."

"Dogs are men."

"It's just a jogger!" "It's just a car!" "There's nothing out there now!" "I was thinking of the squirrel I saw last week"

"Let's see now: All dogs have four legs. I have four legs. Therefore, I am a dog."

Shepherd, Herder, Hunter, Thinker.

"I do what they tell me, I eat what they give me. How do I know they're not a cult?"

Flea Philosophy.

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I'm telling you! They don't know anything! No one is in charge!"

A cart pulled by increasingly small dogs

'Instead of throwing sticks, why don't we sit down and tackle some sudoku?'

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

"When I get to heaven do you think I'll get my testicles back?"

The Inner Dog.

I bark and bark and bark. . . Therefore I am.

"He's obedient as long as my requests align with his internal moral imperatives."

"Well, there goes your theory of him thinking of you as his pack leader."

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

The End is Relative

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

The question is, where does want to go for a walk end and need to go for a walk begin? Existentialist dogs.

"You need a hobby."