Dog Dad Jokes Pillows

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.

Dog wearing a cone

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

Jogging...

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'Tired of fetching?'

Personal Assistants.

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

Bernice Mountain Dog

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"He wants a second opinion."

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"The emotional support goes both ways."

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"For whom the Bella yips... it yips for thee..."

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

"Let's see... water pick, tin foil, snorkel..."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

D-Day (Dad Day)

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

I was allowed to chew this. But not that

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

"English: Walk?" "Dog hears: Edibles on the sidewalk!"

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab