Dog Dad Jokes Mugs

'She think we're waiting out here in this sun? Hot-wire this sucker!'

"Bad dog! I've told you to always proofread."

Dog wearing a cone

"When the world gives you mean and macho, reach for licks and love."

"Sure was a lot of screaming for the happiest day of your life."

"If man is my best friend, why is he giving me this crap to eat?"

Jogging...

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

Doggie door in The Pearly Gates.

Personal Assistants.

Should I bark? Flow chart for dogs

'Tired of fetching?'

Bernice Mountain Dog

Dog enjoying a sniffathon.

"[Old Steak Bone Tavern]"

"He wants a second opinion."

'Could we go in ahead of you? His tranquilizer is wearing off.'

"The emotional support goes both ways."

"I'm not concerned about us as long as there is nothing in the stimulus package for cats."

"Let's see... water pick, tin foil, snorkel..."

"I'm basically a simple dog. Just give me a place to lay my head and lift my leg."

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

The pet elevator: Because sometimes the pet steps are just too much work.

"For whom the Bella yips... it yips for thee..."

"I told you not to let him out of your sight."

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'Those tid-bits you left for Ming Toy were delicious, Mrs. Caldwell!'

The emotional rollercoaster of a Lab

"English: Walk?" "Dog hears: Edibles on the sidewalk!"

"Show some appreciation when he comes home: he spends his days in a small cubicle staring at numbers on the screen. He puts up with a lot in order to feed us."

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

Dog brings pipe,paper and slippers to man in bathtub.