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Behavior Modification.

"I was almost that last year."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Janet, cancel my Guido's reservation. I'll be having lunch in the office."

Dog tricks. 'He's doing it right now. Dudley dreams in Technocolor!'

'Now, you're new here, but you should know the rules: I get Master's newspaper and slippers! Got that?'

Canine Comedians

The only Washroom on the South Pole.

'Checkmate I think!'

Balloon dog training

'Mint?! These taste like cardboard!'

Mountain Rescue for a Dog.

'You get an A for effort, but an F in spelling.'

"I'm the best candidate."

"He ran out of pee."

Obedience school was tough. Especially the homework, which he would do and then eat.

Dog imagines its master as a meat chart.

"Bruno, sit."

"I'll have the 'All you can eat from the menu, the kitchen, and the dumpster' special."

Long Dachshund

'The pats on the head are nice, but I need more compensation...'

We're barely gonna make it!

-'Do you have a last wish senor?' -'Yeah, I'd like to pee on your leg.'

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

Follow England mate, they're always crap!

'Bearnaise sauce again,' he cried. 'I can't bear the thought of it!'

"How does it feel to be a fink, Sparky?"

'Look! Tommy Pineneedle's mother has a pair of nuts!'

'I keep hearing a buzzing in my ears.'

'Now see here! My name is Thomson and THAT is my gazelle!!'

House with 'Dog For Sale' sign. Cat walks by holding 'Good Riddance' sign.

"Y'know, sometimes I actually think those chipmunks in the back yard really are teasing him!"

'Ha ha! You've been afraid of someone else's future!'

'The secret of my business success? Well, "Charge Ahead" I would guess...'