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Duckumentary: 'QUACK!'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Now for today's numbers...'Bad Dogs' outnumbered 'Good Dogs' by two-to-one...'

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

Big screen TV falling through floor

'The anger management is working... tonight there were fewer veins popping.'

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

The following wildlife film is sponsored in part by a grant from...Mother Nature Foundation.

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

'No, you can't just watch the end of Bargainhunt!'

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

The Invention of the Wheel

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

'During the next commercial, I'd like to talk to you about your childhood.'

Triceratops watching television with satellite dish made from own horns.

"Ronny, there's not going to be any 3-D. The studio wants you to shoot it on your cell phone."

"When did you first notice you were larger than life?"

"Is anything good on?"

'Dear, you're not supposed to take it seriously...it's a reality show!'

'Anything good on?' TV replies 'No.'

The cradle of mankind

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'Come on, you're telling me that you don't watch the Discovery Channel.'

"Ugh! Stop making a drama documentary out of a molehill."