Document Shuffler Pillows

Interior design trends for parents....

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

"My career's in shreds, but on the bright side, so are my files."

'ACE Heating and cooling' 'What's Hot' 'What Not'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'You've never planted potatoes before have you?'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

"You call this a brief. It's thirty pages long."

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"I think he's going to be a bus driver - he loves cutting things up."

Bureaucratic castle

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

"I have a system."

"How do you spell time management?"

A cat composer

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"Actually, investing can be very relaxing. Ever try to stay awake reading a prospectus?"

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"Around here they want things in triplicate."

'What GPs don't appreciate is that if you don't have middle managers to oversee forms like the 566c4-566 then you wouldn't even KNOW how many 566c4-566s have been filled out.'

Flexitime.

If I ever end up dancing like that, please buy me a one way ticket to Switzerland.

"Shuffle Mode"

Magic Trick

The only guy left who's not online.

Watch that always reads: 'Later'.