Sheet Music Shuffler Pillows

A cat composer

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

Interior design trends for parents....

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Bring me an in basket and an out basket and some paperwork to shuffle between them.'

"I don't want to play for the audience. I want to play for the fans."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'I bet those are the accident reports.'

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

'Father, meet Sister Kate, she shimmies like a jelly upon a jelly plate.'

Houdini's infancy.

Piano Prompt

"I'm going to need even less tuba."

'You like my in-tray full, don't you?'

"No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"

Ode to Rip Van Winkle.

Wallpaper Music

Precussionist

...After the argument escalated, neighbors say the husband, a composer, threatened to smother his wife with his sheet music. Before anyone could help, witnesses say he'd already begun killing her softly with his song.

"How do you spell time management?"

"It's a 300 page government questionnaire about cutting back on bureaucracy."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

'Ok, the cat's away. Time to play.'

Musical washing

Sheet Music

'That should discourage my imitators.'

"Let's face it, this meeting isn't about tightening our work schedule. It's about stretching our deadline."

"...not ANOTHER unfinished symphony!"

"This one starts the day here and usually finishes the day up here."

The 'Time Management' consultant rang to say she double booked and she's going to be late!"

"Do you really need all those notes when you only play one at a time?"

'My client is a genius composer. He writes all the spaces between the notes.'

'Only training I ever had was when YOU taught me music at school!'

Flexitime.