Document Dynamos T-Shirts

'Where would we be without the right documentation?'

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

CEO with SEO

'Stop saying 'how high?' until I say 'jump'.'

Cossack dancers

'You have her home by midnight, now!'

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

'She's in training.'

'Usually when a man promises me a fish dinner, I naturally assume it will be at a nice restaurant.'

'My motto is 'Lead, follow or get out of the way!''

"Before we decide that SEO is dead, can someone tell me what SEO is?"

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

Attack of the 50 foot administrative professional.

"The character I'm playing has Alzheimer's disease. So, I'm bound to forget my lines occasionally!"

Computer tycoon, 'It's that nerd-do-well from next door,'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

The auto-update demons attack-again."

Accountancy

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

Tour de France champ Fausto Coppi

'I like it!'

Man with Ironing burns on shirt - "How are things going at home Robert?"

Bebaaaaaaaop! (sheep)

"A toothbrush with a DVD player?" "Yeah, now she brushes for half an hour."

"What's wrong, hon? You haven't touched my food."

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

Politically Correct Dictionaries

Now that the last child had finally left for college, Dot and Neville went through the usual 'empty nest' grieving process.

'She scares the hell out of me. She's creative, brainy and sexy.'

'Rabbit stew again?' ( MAGICIANS HAT ON STOVE)

My name's Troy, and I'll be your serve tonight. My name's Fred and I'll be talking way too loudly about my colon. I'm still learning my name, and I'll be screaming for no good reason.

Shredder, de-shredder.

Two dancers in bejeweled suits and flat caps

"Look, I'm really having trouble with my computer. I need it to work and I need it now...and your fancy schmancy jargon isn't helping much."