Doctrinal Discussers Pillows

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

Changing Minds

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

'If you start granting amnesty for people for following their conscience, pretty soon everyone will be following his conscience.'

Verbal Orders

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

John Newman

With Liberty handcuffed,,the thought police pursue happiness,

Woke Jersey Shore

Worst. God. Ever.

Today's sermon: 'Do sin taxes violate the seperation of church & state?'

"I think you made your mistake right at the beginning!"

"Can atheists refuse to participate?"

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

I will not chew gum in class, even sugarless....

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

Holding the moral high ground

Research indicates seven deadly sins are treatable with drugs,

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

"Even Voldemort wouldn't drown a whole planet."

"Well...this constant badness is just sooo wearisome...."

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

Attorney General John Ashcroft

"I gave him a public education Artie ol' boy. . . you should know by now that government schools are one of my best minion corporations!"

'I know the difference between right and wrong, but it hasn't held me back.'

Vicarage - Beware of the Dogma.

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

A headmaster in the stocks covered in rotten eggs.

"Building a robot Pope was questionable to begin with, but why did we give him a laser-gun hand?"