Doctor's Office Decorator Gifts

'I know a skirt-blower would save time, but I don't thing the patients would like it.'

'Muscle cramps? Surely you jest!'

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Painting the Ceiling

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

"Good morning. Fen, Boscage, Bracken & Spinney."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

The Pencil and Sharpener

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

'I wanted a change in decor.'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"While you were out, the staff whittled away your desk into a totem pole."

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

Redecorating Easter Island.

Man with desk wrapped as a Christmas present.

"When you work from home everyday is Casual Day."

"Does this desk make my job look big?"

"Love your feng shui!"

Pollock Painting Company