Doctor's Best Friend Pillows

"Alright, alright - I PROMISE I won't get a second opinion."

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

'Well, what do I have?...Within reason, of course.'

'Nurse, I said x-ray, not microwave.'

Sign in doctors office - Malpractice Makes Perfect.

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

'Could you wear a Dr. Phil mask?'

'Geoffrey's Tourette's is acting up.'

"Will he be okay?"

'When you perform the surgery, please don't remove any of my untapped potential.'

'I'm always like this, and my family was wondering if you could prescribe a mild depressant.'

"Well, there's nothing wrong with his lungs anyway."

M.D. Mrs. Hoskins is here to match wits with you regarding her symptoms.

For Heavens sake - don't let your pet watch manga cartoons on TV anymore!

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

'I want to lose weight, Doctor.' - 'Eat less, then.' - 'I need it to be more complicated than that.' - 'Why?' - 'How can I justify failing if it's that simple, eh?!' - 'Gah. He's breaking me...' -

"You're at a teaching hospital. Hence, all the tests."

"Well, you can tell that David Silva that I said you definitely don't have cooties, Carolyn."

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

"He's losing his will to pay!"

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

"Lucky we caught it early. It's easier to treat in the larva stage."

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

'I'm sorry, but the doctor can't see you right now.'

'Your wife is in the recovery room which, for your convenience, is located right next to the cashier's office...'

'Brain surgery app.'

'I want to change to another doctor, because I've read all of the magazines in your waiting room.'

'The doctor will be a little late...why don't you discuss each others ailments until he gets here!'

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

"Well, if it's elective surgery, I vote no."

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

Plug in Stethoscope

"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."

"The whole family had 'funny tummies' on holiday. I brought back the samples for you!"

"Reaching for your wallet at the front desk, however, should be no problem!"