Doctor-patient Relationship Enthusiast Pillows

"Well, if it's elective surgery, I vote no."

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

'Where does it hurt?'

"Tell me Mr. Jones. Does it hurt when I do this?"

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and it said I might get old!"

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I'm the doctor - I'll decide what's chronic!'

J. Greeble, MD: Practice limited to simple, straightforward, old-fashioned diseases.

'Hey, what do you want from me? As a primary care physician, ALL I DO is prescribe drugs and refer you to specialists.'

A doctor statue and a patient statue

'You're fine. Now get out of my office!'

Taking blood pressure

"You can't check my pulse while I'm checking your pulse!"

"Is this your first time seeing a specialist?"

"Unfortnuately, we won't know what's wrong with you until we do an autopsy."

"He's losing his will to pay!"

I like having an older doctor. He understands my ailments and has most of em!

'I could kiss it and make it better, but it's not covered by your insurance.'

'The doctor will see you as soon as he shrugs into his god suit.'

'The doctor will be a little late...why don't you discuss each others ailments until he gets here!'

'I want to change to another doctor, because I've read all of the magazines in your waiting room.'

"You have to admit, it was funny...even the paramedics were laughing!"

'I'd like to take some x-rays to determine if there is a problem or if you're just being a big baby.'

'The good news is that it's not my problem.'

"Why don't I just tell you the treatments I'm willing to do and we'll assume I have whatever disease that's good for!"

'Doctor Bohan will see you now, Mrs. Stradley, but he really doesn't want to.'

'It's a nasty little rash, nothing to worry about!'

"You know, you wanting to get a second opinion is very insulting to my medical degree."

"I'd like to see you a little taller, and a little younger."

"Your leg's not supposed to do that when I tap it with this little hammer."

"You want a second opinion? Do you have a second illness?''

"I know we agreed to a period of watchful waiting, but this is more watchful than I bargained for."

"Alright, alright - I PROMISE I won't get a second opinion."