Doctor-patient Interaction Fan Pillows

'I'd like to take some x-rays to determine if there is a problem or if you're just being a big baby.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

'Sorry the doctor is running behind. You can keep today's appointment or I can fit you in tomorrow...whichever comes first.'

DIY marriage counseling.

Relationship Rating: His and Hers

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"I'm sorry, sir, but we're not MAGICIANS!"

'We need to try to regress you beyond the last seven seconds...'

"Mr. Wilson? I'm Dr. Bradshaw. Please come in."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"You dumb clod! Do you realize you're almost two minutes late?"

'I have an expense account, but it's a joke.'

Therapy for the cow dependent

'The therapy did help your husband find his inner child, unfortunately his inner child is called Dwayne.'

"How do you feel about turning over?"

"With the redundancy and the divorce I'm struggling to remain Mr. Happy."

'I keep having these flashbacks.'

'Dr Freud, this isn't comfortable. Why don't you sit on that chair?' 'That's not a bad idea.'

"I wouldn't worry about it, in your case, the superiority complex just goes with this territory."

'I don't know what it is, doc. I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'

'The part I like best about sex is when I light a cigarette and say next.'

"Take two of these and call my answering service in the morning."

Soccer Ball - "I'm sick and tired of being kicked around all the time."

Sewing Machines in Surgery

A doctor statue and a patient statue

'You worry too much. Next time something goes wrong, try blaming someone else.'

"Try taking baby steps."

'...And when I asked my parents if I was adopted, they said 'not yet.''

'Of course I'm confused, I keep dreaming I'm an insomniac.'

'I had a great time tonight. I'd like to see you again in about six months.'