Diy Health Detective T-Shirts

"Give a man an exam and he'll be healthy for a day; teach a man to examine himself and he'll be healthy for a lifetime."

'I stay trim because of high metabolism. Theirs, not mine.'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

'Like death by salad.'

'The dietician told him to increase his roughage!'

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

Critisize your weight.

"That's it young man. . . No more energy drinks for you!"

Secretive Weigh In.

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

'This towel is wet so I'll subtract fourteen pounds.'

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

"Geoffrey's a bit worried about lyme disease."

'Diet considerations.'

'Ugh, I hate food with preservatives.'

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

'Dorothy - we're not in the health food section anymore.'

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

Science and Coronavirus

Diets: Sweets and Biscuits.

Mind, Body, Spirit (and Food Court).

Weight Loss Counselor, out for a 400 calorie lunch.

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Attack of the 'health' foods

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'Would you like that organic, locally grown, carbon neutral, fair trade, trans fat-free, sugar-free, gluten-free and peanut-free?'

'Remember, chew every bite 32 times.'