Diy Diagnosticians Gifts

'Are you telling me my symptoms don't match my internet diagnosis?'

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

"So I'm perfectly healthy? That's good but will I still be able to research symptoms online and panic?"

"Watch carefully...it hurts when I do this."

'There's no such thing as 'ookawooka-itis' -- You have got to stop watching doctor shows!'

'...And my thirty-seventh symptom....'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'I checked my symptoms on the internet and I think I might be dead!'

Man tapping a tuning fork on another man's knee

"The doctors say you're not doing enough to diagnose yourself."

"I can't find the instructions."

I'd like a second opinion on your self-diagnosis - So a random guy from the waiting room is googling your symptoms.

'You have a harmless but highly irritating form of nervous disorder we call D.Y.I. - Diagnosing Yourself on the Internet.'

'To save money, Bob started making his own wine. This Chablis, for example, only cost him $329 a bottle.'

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

'Four out of five websites disagree with your diagnosis.'

"Why would anyone hire a barrister, anyone can talk...I'm taking on my own case just as soon as I finish this triple by-pass."

Tunnel of Anxiety

"Your internet researched analysis of your condition and treatment is impressive,and it would be 100% on target...if you were a goat!"

"I did my own research and now I'm strongly anti-fire."

Doctors' Tour

"Nurse! Call the doctor, I've found out what is wrong with me."

'I disagree with you, doctor. It's not just a hangnail. According to the Internet, it's a rare genetic disorder. . .'

"Give it to me nuanced, Doc."

Homeschooled Doctor. Mom says: 'After you set your sister's leg one more time we'll take a milk and cookies break...'

"Give a man an exam and he'll be healthy for a day; teach a man to examine himself and he'll be healthy for a lifetime."

"Amazing your knowledge of the virus, if anything, I should pay you."

"ER says she was Googling diseases."

"Let's make a deal, doc. I'll stop diagnosing myself on the internet when you start making house calls again."

While the hygienist was out of the room, Darlene used the tooth polisher to remove some unwanted moles.

"I just thought I'd run the symptoms by you before I get a proper diagnosis on Google."

"I looked up my symptoms on the Internet and I think I've got bovine spongiform encephalitis."

"That would be in Aisle Six, the worried-well section."